The Crew's New Uniforms
by Azarial
Summary: The crew of the Enterprise are fed up with the old uniforms and demand newer and "fresher" ones.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek. I don't own any of the characters that are used in this story. Don't sue me cause you won't get anything!**

**Alright, this is my very first fanfic, so PLEASE go easy on me!!! If you have any comments/questions/complaints/threats/etc.. please review. Thanks!**

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Captain Picard sat at his desk in his ready room. A cup of Earl Grey tea (hot) was sitting on a saucer in front of him. Jean Luc stared intently at his computer screen. His new favorite hobby was reading the personal logs of all the crew members. Sometimes, they proved to be rather amusing. Riker had certainly had his share of mishaps with Deanna--including one in which he served them both dinner one night, not realizing she was alergic to mushrooms--oops. But right now, Picard was reading Wesley's log. He chuckled to himself as he read:

_Personal log: I accidentally bumped into the girl I like today outside the holodeck... sadly, I wasn't able to end the program fast enough and she saw the tea party I had just come from. She laughed at Mr. Winkles!!! (faint sob)_

"Heh heh... Oh Wesley." Picard took a sip of his tea and closed the log just as his door beeped to let someone through.

"Come"

Will Riker entered the room. "Captain--Good news. I--"

Picard blurted out, "Just saved a bunch of money on your car insurance by switching to Geico??" And then he chuckled to himself again.

"Err... no, Captain. I just wanted to tell you that with the anomaly gone we can now continue our search of the surrounding areas." Riker looked at Jean Luc and thought, _Man, he's totally lost it... I knew we should've had that tea removed from the replicator... that's why we had to get a new captain!_

"Oh, well that's great Will. Engage!" said Picard, and chuckled _again_ before returning to his logs..and his tea.

"Yes sir.." Riker replied, "Oh, but there's one more thing... some of the crew have had... complaints."

"Oh?" Picard returned his gaze to Riker, "What kind of complaints?"

"Er.. well, they all think that our uniforms are... outdated. And that they should be changed immediately. They also think that one-piece uniforms," and at this point he pulled out a small piece of paper to read off of, "'are a complete faux-pas and most of the crew abord the Enterprise should not be wearing them due to, er... physical imperfections. Oh, and they're gross.'" Riker put the paper back in his non-existant pocket--_Damn these uniforms! Why didn't Starfleet listen to me when I asked for Han Solo outfits?! At least I'd get a leather jacket instead of some fruity, maroon one piece!_--and looked at Picard, who was sipping (chugging) his Earl Grey tea (hot), and then thought, _And maybe Deanna could wear a sexy Princess Leia metal bikini..._

Picard put his tea cup down and thought for a second.

"Well, Will.. I think that's a great idea! You know, I've been feeling like a change..."

"Excuse me, sir? A-Are you serious?" Riker stammered. But on the inside he was like, _YESSSS!_

"Of course, Will! Let everyone know there is a meeting in that.. meeting place... in 15 minutes. No, wait, on second thought, I'll do it." Picard tapped his badge and said, "All crew that I normally hang out with, there's a meeting in 15 minutes! I expect you all know where it is cause we only do it in one place. That is all." He looked at Will, "I am so happy that my suggestion box has come in so handy!" then said, "That is all."

"Aye sir," answered Riker. He walked to the door--actually INTO it because it didn't open for him. As he rubbed his forehead he said, "Captain, we really need to fix the doors," and he pressed a button on the door panel to open it. It opened this time and Riker walked out.

Picard sat at his desk and chuckled to himself, _one more time_, and thought, _Hah! Who needs doors opening when all I really need is my Earl Grey tea (hot)? _

Then he went back to reading his logs. And sipping his tea (hot).


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry it took me so long to update! School is a pain in the neck. But here is chapter two, FINALLY! I hope it's up to everyone's expectations. As always, reviews are welcomed and appreciated! **

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The next day, Picard went out onto the bridge to find everybody a little more excited than normal. He had forgotten all about the uniform change and just figured that the crew had had a little too much coffee that morning. He took his seat and stared at the big blank screen in front of him. Riker came over and sat down next to Picard.

"Sir," he said, "When are we going to get the designs for the new uniforms? The crew is already starting to get impatient..." There was a nervousness to his voice that Picard didn't like.

"Well, Number One, you know how good I am with fashion..." Riker raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. Picard continued, "But I hardly have the time to be making rash decisions at a time like this! Go ask Beverly." And with a wave of his hand, he dismissed Riker.

Will rode the lift to sick bay and approached Beverly who was operating on a patient who had gotten a nasty infection from a poisonous mushroom -- oh wait, it was Deanna. Apparently, Riker had made the mistake of making dinner for the two of them AGAIN. Seriously, a man who can save the universe from certain doom every week at around 9pm should at least be able to remember what types of food his girlfriend is allergic to, don't you think?

Anyway, Will went up to Beverly to ask about designs for the new uniforms.

"Beverly, sorry to bother you but I was wondering if you could help me for a second?" Riker gave Deanna a wave, even though she was unconscious on the operating table and her face was slowly but surely turning an ugly purple color.

"Help you for a second?! Will, can't you see I'm busy here?" asked Beverly, "Go ask Wes!"

"Ugh, FINE," whined Riker. He entered the lift to go to Engineering and ran into Worf on the way. Worf was heading to Holodeck 2 to practice a training simulation that he had designed himself -- it was EXTRA easy. Apparently, he hadn't been informed about the new crew uniforms cause when Will told him he just said, "Hurumph! Why am I always the last one to know about these things?" and stormed out of the lift (obviously, it had stopped already). Will finally reached Engineering and saw Geordie, who's new nickname was "Big G", as given by Cap'n Picard. Picard had liked it so much that he ordered everyone on the ship to use it. You can imagine Geor-- Big G's enthusiasm.

"Hey, Big G! Where's Wes? I need to ask him a fashion question," Riker said, and then paused... but only for a second as his brain wasn't exactly capable of mass thinking. Big G looked at Will like his head was on fire, but then pointed to the left and said, "I won't ask.." and then went back to work on some technical thing.

Riker walked in the direction Big G had pointed to and found Wesley, looking as girly as ever, by the engines. Wes was cursing (not really) at some new science experiment he was doing for school cause (and who would've thought) it wasn't working correctly.

"Dang you protons!" he yelled and turned around to find Riker staring at him. "Oh, hello sir. Um, can I help you?"

"Yes, Wes, actually you can. See, I need someone to design the new crew uniforms.." he looked suspiciously at the experiment, "and, uh... I was wondering if you would do it? I hear you're good with these things." The experiment had started to move. Riker restrained himself from poking it with his finger.

"Oh, I'm real sorry, sir, but..." Wes scowled at his experiment-gone-wrong, "I'm kinda in the middle of something important. Hey, I know! Why not go ask Data? I'm sure he'd be perfect for the job!"

Riker sighed, he had already been around half the ship and now he had to find Data, too? This was getting annoying.

"Alright... I'll go find Data," he grumbled, "But make sure that... thing... doesn't spread some sort of disease around the ship or, you know.. take over the computer grid or something. I am NOT fixing the Space Time Continum again for at least another week!" And with that, Riker entered the lift once again to go find Data. He had started to wonder if the new uniforms were really worth all this trouble, but he found he just had to keep repeating, "Han Solo jacket... Han Solo jacket..." to give himself faith once more.


End file.
